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By Glenn D. Meyers, M.D.
Taking responsibility (accountability) is a
fact of life. Realistically, we deal with
our health issues on an emotional level. How
we actually handle different
responsibilities such as our health can be
eye-opening to reflect on. The emotions
described in this article can occur in any
order, and the order in which they are
discussed here may have nothing to do with
your individual reality.
First of all, there is denial. This can be
explained as a situation in which we have no
idea what our responsibilities are. Due to
our situation we probably should know what
they are, however in times of denial, we
just don’t. This lack of knowledge is not
purposeful on our part. It probably comes
from being overwhelmed with the situation at
hand and not really knowing how to deal with
it. Therefore, our mind goes blank and the
problem just doesn’t exist for us. This is
actually a normal defense mechanism that
protects us from the stress of dealing with
our issues.
The second emotion is anger. Sometimes, we
just don’t want to be responsible for our
own health issues. This is amplified in
people with weight issues as society tells
you to just have more willpower and that
your weight issues are all our own fault. We
know that obesity is a disease and that
we’re trying hard now or have in the past to
lose the weight and become more healthy. The
fact is, it is not just a willpower problem,
but it is our problem. We’re angry because
we know it’s not our fault so why do we have
to be accountable? This anger will just
beget more anger and stress and cause us to
become less healthy, more overweight, and
can lead to other disease processes and
problems. The fact is, that “stuff” happens.
When it happens to us, we must take care of
it or pay the consequences. We’re angry
because we have no control over this,
however, we have to face the facts and act
to fix the problem.
The next emotion we may have to deal with is
bargaining. We feel that the next diet will
solve our weight problems. We feel that
although we are overweight, since we do not
have high blood pressure, diabetes, coronary
artery disease, strokes, cancer, etc., then
we will be ok. We tell ourselves that if we
should develop any of these problems, then
we will lose weight. We know in our “heart
of hearts”, that rationalizations are just
“rational lies” that we tell ourselves.
These bargaining points lead us to the
continuation of our poor diet, activity and
behaviors in regard to our health.
The next emotion, that effects over 70% of
people with weight issues, is depression.
When we get depressed, we often eat more and
exercise less. Therefore depression, just
like denial, anger, and bargaining, leads to
worse problems. Depression can be a horrible
stumbling block on our road to recovery.
This is one of the most difficult emotions
to overcome. It is also the most subversive
of emotions when it comes to picking
ourselves up, moving on, and doing something
about our weight problems.
Finally, we come to the emotion of
acceptance. With acceptance comes the
resolution of denial, anger, bargaining, and
depression. Once we have accepted the issues
at hand, we become accountable to ourselves
for our own health. We often talk about our
patients’ support systems. When we make
ourselves accountable to our loved ones (our
support system), we also trek further away
from our denial, anger, bargaining and
depression. Acceptance is the goal, but we
must be careful not to become too
comfortable here as we can go back to other
emotions at any time.
While you study these five emotions, think
back on your journey through these areas
thus far on your road to recovery. Where are
you now? Where do you want to be? How will
you get there? The answer is different for
each and every one of us. Some of us began
our journey with true acceptance and
accountability. Then we end up in pure
denial for reasons which stem from the fact
that accountability is difficult and
stressful. How can we make the acceptance
phase easier to attain and stick with? The
answer lies in determining where the problem
came from to begin with and using your
support system to understand and overcome
those problems.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross described these
emotions as stages in her 1969 book entitled
“ On Death and Dying”. She is quoted as
having said “The most beautiful people we
have known are those who have known defeat,
known suffering, known struggle, known loss,
and have found their way out of the depths.
These persons have an appreciation, a
sensitivity and an understanding of life
that fills them with compassions,
gentleness, and a deep loving concern.
Beautiful people do not just happen.” The
emotions she described make us all better
people for having known the struggle of
accepting responsibility for our own health.
Once we all understand these emotions, we
can all work through issues of any kind.
When it comes to weight issues, we would
like to solve them before they cause
permanent damage to our physical as well as
our mental well-being. In order to hold
ourselves accountable, we must understand
these emotions. Once we do, it will become
just a little easier to move forward and
become better people for having experienced
the problem and ultimately having defeated
it.
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By Glenn D. Meyers, M.D.
“I can’t explain it, I just don’t feel
good.”
Many years ago, I used to sit down for
dinner with my family every evening. I
remember spending more time going outside to
play than sitting in front of the television
set. I remember being made to eat my green
vegetables, but I don’t remember a great
deal of fast food and candy. Sweets were
treats, not an every day occurrence.
We’ve come a long way from those days. Our
families see so many TV commercials about
food that we’ve essentially been re-educated
on proper and accepted eating habits.
Furthermore, our opportunities for using
energy are diminishing. Our TV has a remote
control so we don’t have to get up at
commercial time to see what’s on the other
channels. We can search the Internet rather
than going to the library to do our
research. We don’t even have to go see our
friends as we can sit at our desks and
e-mail or instant message.
Have you ever noticed how fast moving life
is in general? But when we get home, it’s
right to the couch to eat our dinner in
front of the television set. Let’s face it,
we’ve been reprogrammed away from the proper
diet, exercise and behaviors. Our children
are being taught the same bad habits that we
are. However, there is a solution!
We can go back to the basics. We can
practice the proper balance of food intake
and energy output (exercise) once again. Our
diets need to contain the proper amounts and
types of proteins, carbohydrates, fats,
fluids, and fiber. Unfortunately, we’ve been
led to believe the propaganda of our
fast-moving, commercialized world. Let’s
stand up for our children and ourselves NOW.
Let’s start teaching our children by example
once again. The tides are changing as we see
more and more low carbohydrate and good
tasting foods enter the marketplace.
When we were younger, we ate what we wanted.
We were active then, we couldn’t be daunted.
As time goes on, our children learned, all
the great tasting foods, were theirs when
they yearned. The family ate, we all became
sedentary. Activity dwindled, we exercised
rarely. Now is the time to make a change.
Eat right and exercise, and good health will
be in range.
You not only can do it, but you must do it
as our worlds change for the better. Don’t
be left behind!
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